I Hate ME

Blur Blur Blur....am always so blur and careless no matter what i do. What is happening to me lately? I don't like being like this again, i hate it!!!
Went to Neway wif Dennis and Ju Enn, yup...its quite fun although that was juz 3 of us. When we about to leave, i paid first and we went off JUZ LIKE TAT. I din even noticed or remembered about the change...blur untill i duno they haven't gave me bck my change! When i reacehd Ridzuan, only than i remembered. OMG...called Dennis and checked with him, he said no receipt or anything. At tat moment, i hate myself. Hate myself for being so careless and blur......Yes, i used to be lke tat during high school. And tat time, í was always been looking after by Ka, Weng and Jeff. Who than now? I dun wana be like tat, i wana be independent. I dun wan anyone looking after me, help cleaning up my mess juz like before.
When Dennis asked whether wana go bck and take MY change, i said "duno". Yup, at tat moment i really duno. Coz the hatred covered all my emotions....i dun care about the RM39.30, i juz hate myself!!! Ju Enn suggested tat we go and try, than at last i managed to get it bck. But than....from 4th floor of Neway i get scolded untill we nearly reached coll. Yes....i deserve it, i admit. Its my fault, i should not be so blur AGAIN, should not blame the worker for not giving bck the change, should not blame the management. What right have i to blame others? Its my own responsibility....i nv learnt any lesson since high scool.
Yup...tat was rude of me when saying "Thank you" to Dennis. What's tat tone? Am not sincere at all, sounds like gangster. Sorry fren.....He can dump me aside and went to PINK Thing wif Ju Enn, but he didn't. He can charge me for the petrol coz its quite jam, but he didn't. What had i did? Keep creating troubles to all my frens and forced them to clean up the mess. Tat was so bad and cruel of me....Guys, seriously, i duno who will be the nxt "victim". If u wana leave my alone, plz do so. I'll be very happy! Dun feel sorry for me, coz u will feel sorry for urself at the end of the day.
It was indeed very tired yday. But than...duno who go and turn off the main paip and i din noticed tat there is a paip. I ended up bathing using water from the basin and i planed to soak my head in it. Tat was so stupid of me, right? Why i cant be clever juz ONCE and noticed somethg? My fren was right, he said he will never wana marry a clumsy gal like me. Yup, i will nv wana be someone's gf too coz tat will really be very kesian of him.
More to come for me...My landlord and his gf took a cat from downstair and rear it!!! What is tat?!! Why wana torture HCH and me? I hate animals, it smells and it runs and walks. Its fur are all over the places and i'm so not wana go to coll wif cat's fur and smells following me!!! Their master room has toilet, and why they dun wana use there to wash the cat? Why wana use "our bathroom" and bath it!!! I cant stand it!!!! Although CH is the only one who washed the toilet and i shouldn't complaint so much, but i use it too! We dun wana see any fur inside the toilet, we dun wana hv anythg running around the living room. Dun make us throw it too the tennis court from 7th floor and ended up others hv to clean up the dead body. Dun make me kick the cat coz its alr very kesian and skinny. I CAN BE VERY VIOLENCE!!!
Living room is my teritary, every nite i'll sit there, do my work and on9. But now bcoz of the at i'm foced to hide inside my room. Try to imagine, if 2molo there's some assignment due, how am i suppose to finish it? If i fail to finish, wat am i going to tell the lectures? "Sorry Ms/Sir, i cant finish bcoz there's a cat in the living room running around and i cant stand it bcoz i hv asthma." Does it make sense? Its juz another LAME excuse!!!!
What is tat? WHy everythg bad keep hapening to me? Dun come near me.....u'll curse by me.